Life matters. It matters. It’s not a pipe dream, it’s not a delusion. My life matters, not because I matter, but because I carry Life. Nothing matters except the Life that is in me, the Life that makes me live and move and have my being.
When there are no more unknowns, it is this Source of Life I will see.
Ellie lays on my shoulder. Her little nose whispers breath, in and out, in and out. Her tiny fingers twirl my hair gently. She carries the same Life as me. This is the only thing that matters. This life in us. She will be scared in the future, like I am scared. She will feel despair, like I feel despair. She will taste grief, know loss. But she will also realize (remember?) that fear, despair, loss– these illusions will not have the final say. For she will also know love, she will hear music and feel the sunrise and hum along with the beauty that gives weight to the air around her. She will become part of the Story– the grand, inevitable story of Life. Of this Life that moves increasingly toward complexity, toward awareness, toward discovery of Itself and its Source.
Her little palm now rests on my chest, and I tilt my chin downward so my lips brush the tiny tips of her fingers. Tonight, we spin along together on this rock, on this pale blue dot we call the earth, in our infinitesimally small corner of the cosmos.
She and I- so utterly insignificant, so finite, so transitory. But we cling to one another, calling out to Love anyway. And as we cry out toward Love, as we stumble through the darkness together, we also innately know that we are not merely a multitude of hands groping to clasp truth in the darkness– but that within us– there is a Light. This light does not merely illuminate the path, it is the path. This Light connects us to Itself and to one another. And I feel it here, right now, in the empty space between my own beating heart and the heart of my daughter. This source is something beyond matter that Matters. Matters deeply. Matters utterly and unutterably. This is the part of me that will live eternally. Everything else is dust.
So let us seek- and therefore find– the eternal– the holiness that prevails within the finite stardust of which we are comprised.